Depression,  Suicidal Ideation

Be the Bad Ass You Were Born to Be and Never Give Up!

Soul Collage - Warrior

I have tried to give up in life many times. I would get severely depressed and suicidal and did not think life was worth living anymore. 

I am going to tell you about one of my lowest points in life. But I am also going to tell you about one of my finest moments in life, a moment where I didn’t give up and defied the odds to accomplish something huge.

I hope you will be able to take my experiences and learn from them. Life is too precious to give up so easily. Don’t let others dictate how you feel about yourself — ever! Be the bad ass you were born to be!

A Bike Ride Across Texas that Changed my Life

 First, the good stuff. Around 1999 I started doing charity bike rides across the state of Texas. I did a four-day bike ride from Houston to Dallas. The last day was supposed to be our easiest, only 65 miles. However, the odds were stacked against us. We had torrential downpours, headwinds up to 16 miles per hour, steady uphill climbs, and temperatures in the fifties (which is cold for us Texans). I was feeling good. Despite the nasty rain, I was stopping for water when I needed it. All by myself on the road, I would sing to myself, “God is watching us from a distance.”


With only a few miles left to go, my friend and I stopped at a gas station. My friend told me that she could not go on, that her feet were frozen. I asked her, “Are you sure?” And she said, “Yes.” So, I left the gas station with another friend and rode on. I was the last person to ride into the pit stop. I was only 1 of 70 riders out of 700 that completed the ride that day. I was so proud of myself (see pic). I had defied the odds to finish riding that day. When I get down and out, I think about that fateful day in the fall and tell myself, “If I can do that, I can accomplish anything!”

Texas Bike Ride - Never Give Up!

I Tried to Give Up 

That’s the best life gets. Now, let’s talk about the worst. It was August 2004 and I was severely depressed. I had gotten involved with a married man. I wanted more from him than he was willing to give me. He told me he didn’t want to leave his kids. I had had a string of unsuccessful “relationships” and I was at my wit’s end. I was tired of being alone in this world. I was ready to kill myself. So, I took a bunch of my psych meds and went to sleep. Miraculously, I woke up the next morning unscathed. I was surprised. I went to the emergency room anyway just to be safe.

I couldn’t get over this guy. Even while I was in the hospital I kept calling him. He told me to leave him alone or he would call the cops. My family tried to comfort me. I remember one of my brothers telling me, “Mar, we’re Kidds. We don’t give up!”

Be the Bad Ass You Were Born to Be!

I tried to give up in life. Fortunately, it was not my time to go because I have since learned to thrive in this world. And you can, too. When times are tough, I remind myself of that bike ride and how much I really can accomplish. What is your lowest point in life? What is your biggest accomplishment? Remember the accomplishments and let those memories drag you out of your low points in life. Life is hard and it won’t always turn out how you want it to. But you know what? Sometimes life ends up even better than you could ever imagine. So, be the bad ass you were born to be and never give up!

The author is not a health care professional or medical professional and the contents of this website are for informational purposes only. Whilst the information and opinions found on this website are written based on information available at the time of writing, and are believed to be accurate according to the best discernment of the author, the content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any health concern must be assessed by a doctor. If you think you require assessment, call your doctor or local emergency department immediately. Reliance on any information provided by the author or the contents of this website is solely at your own risk.


  • Dori

    I’ve had a few low moments, times when I took too many pills, times when I cut myself, but I always pushed through. My mother’s brother commited suicide so I’ve always known that wasn’t an option for me. How could I do that to her? That has helped me through the lowest moments, along with trying to remember the things I’ve accomplished. But, truly, what’s really helped me is medication. There is NOTHING wrong with taking meds. We take them for heart disease, blood pressure, etc. No reason we can’t take them for our mental health.

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