I was never diagnosed with postpartum depression, but I am pretty certain that I had it. I had preeclampsia when I was pregnant and ended up in the hospital for a month before I delivered via a scheduled C-section six weeks early.
I did not feel bonded to my baby at all. I blame part of this on the C-section. I think if I had had a vaginal birth and I would have seen my baby exiting my body, I would have felt like she was more a part of me. Having a C-section takes all that experience out of the picture.
Bonding with my Baby
I also think I did not feel bonded to my baby because of the postpartum depression. I looked at my premature baby and she looked like a stranger to me. I did not feel a bond to her at all. And this saddened and concerned me.
It took me a really long time to bond with my daughter. I had “buyer’s remorse” at first. I thought to myself, “What did I get myself into?” I hated being a mom. I missed the freedom of being able to come and go as I pleased. And I missed my independence, too.
Finally how it should be…
Eventually, though, I felt the love for my baby the way I feel as if I was supposed to. But when I was depressed, having the responsibility of taking care of a baby felt like such a burden. I was miserable.
Love that grows and grows
These days I absolutely love being a mom. My love for my daughter Faith grows every day. She is truly my world! I am so blessed to have her in my life!
Can you relate to this? Did it take time for you to bond with your baby? Do you have mental health issues that make it difficult for you to bond with your baby?